Miss Independent

Processed with VSCOWhat does being Miss Independent mean?

Is it being strong? Is it being able to depend on no one but yourself? Is it being self-sufficient? Or is it being able to not need anyone?

I’ve read a lot of fiction books with different culture in different country, and when it’s contemporary, the heroine is usually an independent strong woman. I often wondered about this but I guess men usually are attracted to this kind of women. Or that the female author just wanted to project someone she wants to be. Or the male author wanted to project his ideal woman. And these are all completely hypothetical, there is that world we secretly wish that are being ruled by women.

But, one thing that is actually the same all over, across culture and beyond boundaries, is that whenever a female is projected being Miss Independent, they’re always on the offensive. Someone not needing help and have the world on their shoulders. They’re the responsible, worrier and crazy kind of person.

I mean, women are crazy and they are species that cannot be explained but I often wonder, if you’re independent, why are you not allowed to lean on someone else?

I’m independent, but whenever I’m carrying a lot of things and there’s a man within the group, or I’m with, I usually thrust my things and let them carry it. I mean, does being independent have to be like you can’t do that? Is there a rule book or something I might have missed or don’t know about?

Or paying for food. If someone does something for you, or buy you food, why do you have the need to reciprocate? Why does it feel like you have to pay the kindness that was being done to you? I’m probably shameless because I’m just thankful when someone do stuff for me, and I don’t really feel the need to pay that kindness to feel even. I think offering should be like from within and not because you feel the need to. But really, does being independent prohibits you to just accept it? Like you have the weight on your shoulders and you feel a burden because someone have done some kindness on you and you feel like it demean your being independent so you just have to act sully or ungrateful just so you can prove that you are independent?

This may actually more of a rant of my current read, but looking back, this is always how it is with most heroines I’ve met. And I’m just shouting bitches and just want to slap them.

Because seriously! I think of you know you’re independent, leaning for others or asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness or being dependent. It just means you’re comfortable with yourself to accept that there are things you can’t do on your own and that needing help or someone doesn’t mean you’re not independent anymore. But I guess, you actually have to reach that level of self-actualization for you to be able to just appreciate the kindness, the help being offered, or random free food thrown in your way. Ah, see Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for that to happen.

Are you a Miss Independent?


Written: April 17, 2017

P.S. Book current read at that moment did have a low rating. 😦

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An Open Letter


Have you ever read of one before? I’m asking of an open letter addressed to those who are single, in a relationship, in the mid-twenties or other form of somewhat something that digs deeper and hit us because we feel that it was us the letter was referring to?

I’ve actually read a lot and been tagged by my friends because they are so relatable. But have you read an open letter that was directly addressed to you? Well, I haven’t. So I’m making one directly addressed to myself because I can.

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This picture was just supposed to be me looking far away, but I turned my head way bit more, and when I looked at the picture, there was a guy in there.

“I don’t want to be a fool, crying over you…”

Familiar? I guess. It’s one of those cries of our hearts when we are desperate to forget someone and we resort to chastising ourselves. Actually, the song is totally unrelated to my musings. Or not. I’ve been travelling a lot for the past days – going to the farm and then here now while I was writing this, on island hopping. Well, actually yesterday was more work and site visit and monitoring but we’ve been to different islands. But now is for pleasure and once again my mind is running with thoughts in my head that needed to be written down so they would eventually stop.  Continue reading

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